She's such a weird beard.

1) I love my Royal vacuum cleaner.

2) When I see a little baby I automatically think about my cat.

3) When I get dressed up I feel like I'm in costume.

4) I'm secretly relieved in the fall when my perennial bed dies and I
don't have to go out and pick beetles every day.

5) When everything is boring at work I put on my "Queen of Reference" hat-
a pink crown with question marks on it. You wouldn't believe how many
people pretend not to notice.

6) This summer I'm making everyone at work play either "That's your
boyfriend" or "I think he likes me".

7) Whenever anyone asks me if I want to go to the movies I always think to
myself "Why would I want to do that?" before I realize some people like to
see movies.