Prepare yourself for a harrowing tale of deception and evil that includes a WIP and a few FOs. But don't worry, good wins in the end.

Instant Gratification Socks

Once upon a time there was a beautiful, courageous, and almost frighteningly talented knitter named Bethro. Of all the potential projects in the world, Bethro liked socks the most.

But one day, an evil began to pervade Bethro's queendom (did I mention she was a queen?). A rumor spread. It was possible, so said the evil gossip, to make two socks at the same time.

Two socks at the same time? What a thrill! Bethro wanted to know more. As she investigated, she uncovered the horrible truth. To knit two socks at once, she would have to give up her beloved, trustworthy DPNs, and swear an oath to serve the suspicious circs. But, one of Queen Bethro's many attributes was fearlessness, so she cast her sock yarn onto two circs.

Like many of the talented queens in the knitting world (although, not all), Bethro had two minions she had to please so they would keep her in purrs, which she could not produce herself. Two furry, mischievous, and energetic minions. Hers were,



The roly poly Pan. Pan may look sleepy, but she has vicious claws and the ability to sit on her enemies to subdue them.




And, the crazy Toby. Toby's wild mood swings make her a great fighter, but very unstable.

Both of these minions were highly attracted to the swaying and clanking of the circs.



Their inability to let Queen Bethro knit with the circs, plus the plain unnaturalness of knitting a sock without her DPNs, made the queen sad and lethargic. Her sock sat in the queen's stash for months. Bethro knit no socks during these dark days. Her people were sad and worried.

Then, one happy day, the queen's husband, King Phil, decided he wanted to knit. He made, he insisted, a kitty blanket.




But his appetite was not sated. Merely a week ago he asked the queen to accompany him to Greenwich Yarn to buy some bulky yarn for a scarf (the king decided size 13s were about his speed). The King and Queen set merrily off. Upon arriving in the magical place, Bethro found a hidden treasure: many skeins of Rowan Cork. Bethro had a special fondness for Cork, and had made a happy pair of socks with them in the past. Maybe Bethro could rekindle her sock lust with some instant gratification socks!

A week went by, and Bethro worked hard. In the end, she was rewarded with wonderful socks.



The king also made his first (real) project.






Vowing never to be fooled by fads again, Beth removed the evil circs from her beautiful sock yarn, and replaced them with some lovely DPNs a fellow queen had provided.



The minions cared not at all for the DPNs,




and happiness (and socks) once more reigned.


Also, she made an apron.






THE END